Monday, January 9, 2017

Love and Belonging

2014-2015 FOV - Cara Ugolino

Brené Brown, a researcher on shame and empathy wrote, “Love and belonging are irreducible needs of all men, women, and children. We’re hardwired for connection—it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. The absence of love, belonging, and connection always leads to suffering.” This quote comes to mind when I reflect on my year with Franciscan Outreach Volunteers (FOV). I never imagined this experience would be so life altering; however, my volunteer year has completely shaped my values regarding community and service.
Cara and her community set out on their journey together at Opening Retreat

Franciscan Outreach challenged me to recognize that individuals experiencing homelessness are people with incredibly rich and beautiful stories, identities, and strengths to share with this world. It made me realize that our society dehumanizes and does an incredible disservice to individuals that are living on our societal margins. We do not value the individual that is pregnant and can’t afford food, the person that has lost their job unexpectedly after having a heart attack, the individual that is experiencing mental health issues and no longer has family support, or the person who is dealing with a substance abuse issue. I quickly realized that we ignore those that differ from us, unless we or a loved one has a shared identity or similar experience to the individuals that are struggling. However, if my service year has taught me anything, it’s that we all are in this world to love and be loved. It’s as simple as that.
Karen and Cara carving up some birds in the Marquard Kitchen

Living in community with eleven other people has also made a large impact on my life. I am almost certain that I will never have an experience as fulfilling as this. I have never laughed harder in my life or been as frustrated as I was when living in community. I learned how to live with and love eleven other personalities that differed from my own. I constantly find myself missing Manu’s goofiness, Brett’s laugh, Theresa’s warmth, Cady’s silliness, drinking hot cocoa and coffee with Elias, dinner dates with Kristen, Nick sharing information about the world, Valentin’s Snapchats and waking me up in the morning, Sebi’s smile, Karen’s sassiness, and Maddy’s rap skills.
2014 -2015 Community in front of the Chicago skyline

Following my year of service I decided that I wanted to pursue a master’s in Social Work. I went on to start my graduate degree at the University of Chicago in Social Service Administration. During my first year of school, I worked with pre-k through third grade students in the CPS system who were experiencing behavioral and emotional problems. I ran a grief group for first grade children who had lost their parents to gun violence. This experience reiterated for me that children are either set up for failure or success, simply based on the neighborhoods that they reside in, and how much wealth is put into their school systems.
Cara, Karen, Manu, Brett, and Valentin in front of Cloud Gate (a.k.a. The Bean)

I am currently in my last year of grad school and I am working with youth who don’t have stable housing. Between this experience and my time with FOV, I have realized that my goal for after graduation is to work with LGBTQIA folks who are experiencing homelessness. Through my research in school, I found that according to the Society for Public Health Education (2012) five to seven percent of American youth identify as LGBTQ; which means that there are about 2.7 million LGBTQ youth in the United States. However, they found that a lack of family and social support often contributes to the LGBTQ youth homelessness rate of 40 percent. LGBTQ-identified youth are more likely to experience physical violence, drug use and abuse, earlier and unprotected sexual activity, self-inflicted violence, depression, bullying, teasing, harassment, physical assault, and suicide-related behaviors compared to their cisgender and heterosexual peers. It has quickly become evident to me that these individuals are vastly underserved. There is an incredible amount of work that needs to be done within organizations throughout Chicago in working toward becoming more culturally competent in terms of diverse gender and sexual identities.
Kristen, Brett, and Cara enjoy Frostys in the cold


This brings me back to that quote from Brené Brown; it’s worth repeating. “Love and belonging are irreducible needs of all men, women, and children. We’re hardwired for connection—it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. The absence of love, belonging, and connection always leads to suffering.” Although our society does not always value individuals who are experiencing homelessness, I look forward to fostering a space of love, belonging, and connection in my future social work practice. I will forever be grateful to FOV for providing me with eleven other volunteers that value the same things for all people. I can only hope that I find individuals with similar values throughout the rest of my life.  
Manu, Elias, Theresa, Cara, Karen, Nick, and Maddy reconnected this summer

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